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• Waterproof sponge.
• Garlic flavoured Listerine.
• A dyslexic reading lamp.
• A Securicor wheelbarrow.
• Wisdom dentures.
• Diabetic Ex-Lax.
• Inflammable poker.
• A biro sharpener.
• A milk grater.
• Filter tip chewing gum.
• A distorting rear-view mirror.
• A paper paperweight.
• Open toed wellies.
• An iron-on deodorant.
• Carbonated toilet paper.
• Indelible sky writing.
• Four-poster sleeping bag.
• Fertility corn-plaster.
• A thoroughbred clothes horse.
• An I-fart-your-weight machine.
• Electric chair seat warmer.
• FALSE bitten nails.
• A snot bank.
• Topless bulletproof vest.
• A drive-in brick wall.
• A porous tarpaulin.
• Thermal sun hat.
• An ear trombone.
• One-arm bandit for the disabled.
• Roll-on tear gas.
• National Insurance tarot cards.
• Coalfire-powered hearing aid.
• A home for unmarried babies.
• Rocking chair sickness pills.
• Lighthouse moat.
• Cast-iron pin cushion.
• Earmuffs for the incontinent.
• Ready-to-serve tennis balls.
• A straight-jacket boutique.
• Inflatable sledge hammer.